Dear Coke Talk: On greatness and killing your ego.
I think about this multiple times during the day. Everyday. Sometimes I dream about it and wake up with my breath caught in my throat as though the mere thought of it was suffocating me. My ego is trying to kill me. She wants me to be painfully successful, excruciatingly great but also terribly unhappy and unfulfilled. I indulge her because I’m afraid of what it will be like without her coaxing me awake with thoughts of all the great things that she thinks I’m capable of doing, of luring me to sleep with dreams of multi-million dollar art works sold, deals made, interviews set, dinner parties with Jeffrey Deitch, Walton Ford. She’s been with me since the beginning and she’s saved me more than once. She was my reason to live, to wake up, to try hard. She told me that I was different than everyone else, different DNA, different voice, different fingernails and kneecaps. She told me that I would be greater than most. I still can’t quite let go of her. It’ll probably kill me, she’ll probably kill me, but what can I say?How do I accept that I won’t ever be great or outstanding? I always thought I had talent, and maybe I’m not bad, but a great many people are far better. I can’t stop thinking this and it’s causing me great anxiety.
Kill your ego, because nothing you do will ever matter….
(via spanishsahara)
